Monday, 22nd July, 2024
I have so many bookstore.org emails saved as they have book lists and recommendations that I want to get for myself or others. Need to decant that information into a list somewhere as every week more and more emails come with good books.
I bought that radio, now to figure out what I’m doing with it. 😅
All this time and all I’ve had is my phone. It is more annoying than using a computer but I’ve not missed using a computer. I’ll use my phone for a while but the annoyingness of it makes me put it down…eventually. Then I pick up my book or I sit outside and watch the trees in the wind or the bees on the flowers. Helps its lovely weather and view, and comfy outdoor chairs. I could buy chairs for home but the weather and view are lacking. If we didn’t have work or school, and didn’t in general need to go anywhere, living in the countryside would be nice. However I love the convenience of life where we do live. Even if the view and weather isn’t great. Also this is a holiday and not representative.
Returns me to the age old (for me) question of: do I need a computer at home? The answer is yes because it’s annoying otherwise but could I use it less? Absolutely. I just need to find somewhere else to sit. There always feels like there are a hundred things I need to do on the computer…every day. But is using a computer bad? No, but depends what I do. “It’ll be different this time” I say, but probably not.
I accuse (silently in my head of course) other people at work for wanting too much money. Am I just the same though? When I go back to work I’m supposed to decide if part time should be permanent for me (although I can change it later so it’s never really permanent), and I want to say yes but there’s a bug in my ear calculating to the nearest penny what I’m losing out on. I guess I gave the bug access to my spreadsheet so I’m to blame. But not just pay today but also pension tomorrow. I do try to tell myself time and life are both short so make the most of it. We’re not going to bankrupt ourselves because of this so why not do it. When I look at the U.K. income stats they’re painful and I serve myself another dose of “<10%” world problems.
I also feel “cheated” that because I work part time I don’t get the benefit of one flex day off a month. The facts are, I do get the benefit, I just choose not to take it. Mostly as I don’t accrue enough hours to take one, but don’t tell anyone that I also didn’t accrue enough hours when working full time to take one either! The rules of the policy are so vague that it makes it hard to justify or legitimately claim when not working full time, because that’s who it was written for. Work also doesn’t want people eating their time tracking an extra 22.5 minutes a day so I know why it’s deliberately vague. I e thought about doing a 0.9 schedule with the logic I could accumulate the extra time and have 3 days off a month but only pay for 2 vs my 4 that I pay all of. Of course, I don’t want fewer days off…
For a long time I’ve been thinking about FIRE and mostly trying to go towards it. This part time is maybe the first stepping stone but also shows me how hard it is to stop working even if you “had enough money”. The temptation to just keep working as it’s probably easier, you’ve been doing it for decades and the “just in case” factor.
Work is doing some big deal and the end result is always a reorg. Many folks in their late 50s are hoping for a payoff. We last had a payoff during COVID. I did think about it for a few minutes back then…but we’d literally just bought a house after moving back from America, and with a newborn, so another spanner was not wanted. If they offered it again, would I take it? I could change career and “follow my dreams”. But…what are my dreams and to what career? I like the people I work with and I get to work part time and still do well. Unless I’m starting my own business or some unique opportunity comes up…why leave? I don’t have a plan if I jumped.
Back before we talked about living somewhere else to be closer to others. That would still be nice now but we’d have to move house and city and both get new jobs and new schools for everyone. It could still be done but not sure it’s really worth it. Plus I like being close to the mountains for radio 😅
I’m not sure what is going to satisfy me.
